Megan, Molly and Kris –
I am so sorry for your loss. As you know, I loved your dad/husband. In many ways, as his obituary correctly indicates, who couldn’t. Unfortunately, I am not going to be able to make it to the Celebration. Somewhat ironically, it’s because I will be in Ohio to celebrate and thank a high school teacher who had a significant impact on my life – just like Cary did. While I never got to write Cary a note to thank him for his influence on my life, whenever we met we shared wonderful memories of times together. He loved to share my “airport experience” with both of you -- then, young girls -- often with all those who were in earshot, mostly at firm events, but often with clients or people he knew and I didn’t. But then he would quickly pivot to brag about one of “his girls”, or an amazing trip that Kris was on, or something amazing she was doing, and then most recently pictures of his beloved grandbaby. He was so proud of you all and loved you so much.
The irony of the visit to Ohio is that as I’ve gotten older I’ve looked back on those that have influenced me, and I’ve tried to be intentional about letting them know how I felt. Unfortunately, I never got to do that intentionally with Cary, such as note, a card or just an intentional conversation to just say thanks. I will get to do so in Ohio, and, I think that’s the best choice.
I recall once when Cary and I first joined the firm – we joined closely in time, and so had a bond because of that – we were just talking, and I believe I was complaining about something, and he listened, as he did, but then posed the question that I hadn’t really considered, namely what can you do to make this better? I’m not sure what followed, but in the ensuing conversation, he encouraged me to act and do something positive instead of just focusing on the negative. I did, and not surprisingly, the situation got better. He just seemed to know how and when to move people in a different direction, not by pushing, but just by being there and encouraging.
I’m very glad that Cary was in my life, and he invited me into his. Much love and condolences to you all.
Gratefully,
Chuck